December 2007 Archives

This newest video is an homage to Mr Bruce Campbell and the best chase scene in the history of moviemaking. I didn't have much to work with: no actors (only me), no real equipment (it was recorded on a $79 Flip digital camcorder), and no budget. I didn't even have a cameraman - I was literally chasing myself around. I own the chicken, so I didn't have to rent one from the Chicken Actors Guild.

The video shows Bobby, played by me, running around a farm in a panic, while being chased by a zombie chicken. These are common elements in the story, of course: Bobby running around in a panic ... zombie chickens ... farms ...

I'm embedding the video here for convenience, although it will stay posted in the upper right of the Cluck home page, long after this page has scrolled off into the annals of blogdom. (hee hee, I said "annal").

Cluck has been selling moderately well, especially considering that very little marketing has been done (yet ... I'm waiting for the results of a few key reviews first). The response so far has been good, I received a reader review on amazon that is, and I quote:

"ANIMAL FARM ON ACID ... An excellent holiday gift for the twisted animal lover in your life! A veritable encyclopedia of zombie chicken lore. Explore the inner psychological workings of the zombie chicken's mind, whilst improving your French.

The premier zombie chicken book of our time. Admittedly, the genre may be small, but should the author write a sequel (hint, hint) then it will be twice as big as before.

I love that so much that I'm using that quote in my newest YouTube video (available soon). I mean, to be compared to Orwell, even in jest, is extremely flattering. As always, watch to the right for the latest 'tubes.

Also, speaking of reviews, I have several lined up at the moment, mostly with the Horror book circuit. Once the ducks are in their proverbial row, I'm going to start courting the Fantasy crowd. There is a definite demographic similarity between Cluck fans and readers of Pratchett (which I suspected, since I'm such a Pratchett fan myself ... it was bound to rub off, at least a bit).

I've been completely absorbed with "the book" lately. First, the mad rush of final edits and book design, and then the initial marketing efforts -- all on top of a full-time job. Now, the first round of review copies have been sent out, and the looming event of Christmas is the only thing to think about. It's been a nice and very welcome bit of relief.

With the new year, there are a lot of things to do on the writing front: readings and signings need to be arranged, and of course there's the next book ... but there's also a lot of other things to do, and my New Years resolution is to re-focus a good portion of my energy to those things. Things like: getting to the dojo more often, and/or the gym; finishing some of the bigger home improvement projects that have been piling up; and spending more quality time with my loving and beautiful wife.

Cluck is now available through amazon. Buy Cluck Now

... Or, if you really would like to help me out, HELP TO SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT CLUCK. It's free and easy — and it could make me the next J.K. Rowling. Only less British. And more manly.

I've just finished reading THUD by Terry Pratchett. I read most Pratchett novels twice: the first time on an airplane, and then again a few months later on the ground. I think the duality of surface- and deep- entertainment is one of Pratchett's better qualities. When on a plane it's easy and fun reading (which is good, because his books are almost always in airport bookstores). When in a more appropriate setting, you can absorb more of the text and appreciate a whole new layer to his stories.

How do I get Terry Pratchett to endorse my book, Cluck, is what I want to know. That would also be nice on two levels: first it would make me feel good because I'm a huge fan; second it would sell a lot of books. There's very little chance that you're reading this, Mr. Pratchett, but if you are: I am officially begging. I'll wash your car, whatever. I am groveling.

Also, I'm trying to be better about posting reviews over at amazon so stop by and vote for my review!

I received a new print proof today, and whatever the error was, it has been fixed. I'll be blogging in depth about the whole process soon, but for now I just wanted to tell everyone that Cluck is on it's way! It's now simply a issue of waiting for Cluck to trickle its way through the distribution channels before it shows up on Amazon, etc. Or maybe that should be "shambles" ... zombie chickens don't trickle, they shamble.

Not to pat myself on the back but the book looks fantastic. The online cover photos do not do it justice. I owe a great deal to my designer friend / artistic hero, Ian Miller, because people do judge a book b y its cover, and this cover looks superb.

Poultrygeist's Kaufman sure knows his stuff(ing) ... for example, he knows that Cluck is the only ... er, I mean the best zombie chicken novel of all time!  He said so himself, and even said I could put it on the cover (which I did).  It looks something like this:

"The Best Undead Chicken Novel of All Time!"

~Lloyd Kaufman, Director of PoultryGeist

Promo 2 is up at YouTube! Yay!

The music is from the HillBilly Gypsies - I recommend getting their album for your next party. Just add alcohol for a guaranteed banjo-stomping-good time!

For those keeping tabs on the progress of Cluck, you may have noticed that it keeps slipping. Well, there's a story there, and I'm a writer, so:

I am publishing Cluck through booksurge, an amazon company. They've been great, and fairly responsive. The good thing about them is that they will take a print-ready proof (pdf file) and use it directly, allowing you to maintain absolute control over the look and feel of your book. This is especially good if you're a pseudo designer (like me) who has professional designer friends to help you out.

The waiting up until now has been due to me: I've been writing, proofing, editing, re-writing, formating, etc. Once the file was sent to Booksurge, it took approximately 2 weeks for me to receive an author proof.

I got my proof last night. It looks amazing, and I'm not just saying that because I wrote it. My first book, Out of Place Out of Time was published through iUniverse, and it looks terrible in comparison (of course, the only way to see for yourself is to buy a copy of both and compare ^__^ ). However, there's been a glitch. The system that 'ingests' the file for production screwed up a bunch of text formatting, making the book very difficult to read. Two points to make here:

1. BookSurge has been a champion to me during this process. I emailed my account rep last night at about 1am, and I got a response this morning at 7:47am. They have found the error, re-ingested the file, and the pre press group thinks it is fixed. They are printing a new proof, which my rep will look over personally before overnighting the new proof to me. Wow - that is what you call excellent customer service.
   
2. I have to point out that "ingest" is their term, not mine. I think it's hilarious, especially in the context of a novel about zombie chickens.
   

That said, I have doubts if things are really fixed. I found a glitch with the primary font that I used, which repeatedly re-created the exact same errors no matter how many times I re-flighted the file. (re-flight is my own word for redoing an Acrobat pre-flight operation, which checks files for errors, saves compatibility layers, etc.) There are two options:

1. They know more about Acrobat than I do, or have different/better tools than I do
   
2. The errors are still there
   
3. Both of the above
   

Option 3 is a distinct possibility. So I'm re-designing the entire book (yes, the ENTIRE book) to use a different font, which doesn't seem to produce the same errors. That way, if I get my new proof and it's still screwed up, I'll be able to send off the new file right away to speed up the process as much as possible.

I have to reiterate that this isn't my fault, but it also isn't really BookSurge's fault - it's just "one of those things" that can happen when dealing with anything related to acrobat files (for those who don't work with acrobat for print, do a google on pdf version compatibility problems). They've been great - so great in fact that I feel compelled to embark on a quest. When researching POD companies, I found a lot of old posts around the internet complaining about booksurge. They were old, prior to booksurge's acquisition by amazon.com, but they did sway my opinion - almost enough so to change my mind (but obviously not quite). Anyway, I'll wait until the entire process is over, giving them their fair chance to screw up as a company, but if the service remains as stellar as it has been so far, I am going to hunt down all of those posts and reply to them all with this story.

Stay tuned for further updates on Cluck, the process of creating and designing it, and when it finally becomes available.

For the thousands (i.e., three or four) of fans who are anxiously awaiting the release of Cluck, you'll have to wait a little bit longer. The final proof of the book is waiting for me. It's on my porch, probably half buried in snow. Because my illustrator and designer friend Ian Miller and I designed this completely ourselves, I need to make sure there aren't any problems before releasing it for sale. If all goes well, it will be available from the publisher (BookSurge) tomorrow, and on Amazon.com in mid-December.

... However, if there are problems (my fingers are crossed so tightly I can barely type) I will need to fix them, and it will take another 2 weeks before it's for sale at all, and even later until it hits amazon. Like I said: fingers are crossed.