November 2005 Archives

We hosted T-day at our place this year, for the first time ever (pronounced ev-ahh if you're a local). I have some suggestions to make about the holiday, now that I have crossed over from the "sit-there-and-eat" side to the "cook-everything-all-day-for-days-and-then-barely-get-a-chance-to-eat" side.

1. Everybody wants to bring a dish, to "help" and/or to "contribute". This is much appreciated, and saves some cost for the poor hosts, but please consider your gift of food carefully. Most people, like me, have only one stove. We actually had to use the wood stove to help warm things up. Yup - the wood stove that is not meant for cooking, but for heating the house. Translation: very hot kitchen; lukewarm food.
2. If you are the host of T-day, consider saving the money that you would spend on an enormous feast and re-directing the funds elsewhere. Like a new stove, for example. Or a new family, from Europe, who wont celebrate Thanksgiving at all. Or, if you like the stove and family you've got, maybe you could use the extra cash to buy take-out.
3. If you are one of the sole gourmets in your family but have friends that cook, consider kidnapping them for the holidays. Or breaking into their house while they are away and using their kitchen, at least. I mean, they're not using it, right?
4. If you are the sole gourmet in your family and your friends who cook are busy and/or own a home security system, consider simplifying your menu. I mean, no one would really care if you'd made regular cornbread instead of a fancy soufflÈ. Or if you'd just dowsed the bird with garlic salt and Italian Spice Mix instead of fresh herbs and such. Can you tell I was a little overwhelmed in the kitchen?
5. Why Turkey? Maybe I'm a unique case because I have four cats, but the single most difficult thing about the whole affair was cooking the Turkey, which takes hours and hours, and then keeping it safe from cats for a few more hours while you try to cook everything else. Next Thanksgiving, I'm going to cook up a few cornish hens for the traditionalists who insist on poultry, and the rest are getting BLTs. Actually, a cornish hen per person would be better than one large turkey: you could fit maybe a dozen of them side by side in a (very) large dish, and cook them in half of your oven, instead of filling your whole oven with one giant-ass bird that is mostly made of large bones and empty rib cavity. In fact, while one of these little guys usually is a good one-person serving, you could probably split them and give everyone half - what with all the wonderful sautÈs and soufflÈs you'll be able to serve along side them.

So, as you can tell, I learned a lot about playing chef for a huge feast like T-day. I was a bit overwhelmed, yes, but in all fairness I must say that apart from that it was a great day: everyone together enjoying a feast and good times and all that jazz. And, of course, I was able to (eventually) sit back and feel proud of all the work I'd done.

Insert holiday music. Fade to black.

A great holiday-related book for those who would like to see small-town cheer assaulted by a horde of zombies, lead by an undead-santa.

The Stupidest Angel.

Like Zombies? Drop me an email if you're interested in beta-testing* my new book Cluck which is in that last stage of revision where my normal readers are, well, sick of reading the same book over and over again. Email me at: edk [at] ericdknapp.com

I'm not typically the sort to spout about political, religious or social beliefs in a public forum, but...

The other day, I was driving home late at night and the radio station I was listening to started airing a GLBT radio program. I've been trained to appreciate all sorts of talk radio while working on some podcasts for my old company, so rather than spend the .47 calories required to reach up and change the station, I listened.

The show was focused on upcoming state elections in New England, and how votes will impact the gay community. (Yes, I didn't know it at first either, but GLBT is not a new type of bacon-and-veg toasted sandwich, but Gay Lesbian Bisexual and (I have to assume, the didn't spell it out) Transexual. I have to say that I was amazed at how many relevant political issues directly or indirectly concern the GLBT community. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I was unaware of most of them (all except the gay marriage issue). In fact, it became clear as I listened that I know pretty much nothing about the gay community.

I feel (probably unjustly) that the disclaimer should be made: I am not gay. I am also not a homophobe. Heck, I went to a liberal arts college and worked in the theater for years. I have several gay firends. But if you know someone who is gay, you probably never talk about it. I mean, I've never said "so hey, what about that [insert gay issue here], huh?" in conversation. And my gay friends never bring their sexual preferences up in conversation either - understandably so, with so much intolerance in the world.

Anyway, I guess there's no point to this post other than to share my own surprise at how little I know about relevant issues that affect a large population of Americans. The radio show was an eye-opener.

For those who fall into the category of "Intolerants" -- in the safe privacy of you home, when your intolerant friends aren't watching or listening, tune your radio to the show: it's called One in Ten. You might learn something about a very real part of our social landscape, and yes, you will still be a heterosexual afterwards.

I mentioned my book again, but I should also have mentioned this so I'm going to now. Future Proof is a book being written by another writer. I've read a bit of it and like what I see, but like me he's having trouble courting a publisher. So what does he do? He takes the indie music approach and is trying to build so much buzz around his book that the publishers will have to fight each other for the privilege of offering him huge advances and a sweet contract.

It is such a noble effort that I have to promote it a bit here. Frank Daniels, the author of the book and the leader of the movement, is doing things right (and the book, like I said, seems like a winner too).

I recommend stopping by, reading some of his chapters, and dropping him a note. And, while you're still in a giving mood, sign up to proof my new book, too. Hell, if you're really feeling charitable, buy my old book while your at it. Or at least follow that link and give me a nice 5-star review.

The second draft of Cluck is finished. I've made quite a few changes from draft one, including a major restructuring of the timeline. For this reason, I think my proofers will find the story much more comfortable to read. Also for this reason, I expect another complete draft will need to occur - you simply can't change the sequence of already-written chapters to this degree and not miss something.

So, the call is going out for proof-readers - brave and stupid, erc, I mean brave people who are willing to commit to reading this short book within the next four-to-six weeks and providing me with a bit o' feedback. Interested? I had to turn comments off due to spam, but you can email me at edk this domain dot com. That my three initials at ericdknapp with a dot com at the end. (sad, I have to write this out long hand simply to avoid spam... woe is SMTP....)