March 2005 Archives

I'd put down Cluck, my second book, due to a busy schedule and an odd strain of writer's block. It wasn't that I couldn't write, but I knew that Cluck needed something more if it wanted to evolve from a very long short story or novella into a full blown novel. Anyway, earlier this week I had another bout of insomnia, and somewhere around 1:30am I had an idea. I was up until 4am writing, and the block is now officially removed. Cluck is once again an active work-in-progress.

The bad news is that I now have the itch to write again, but I still dont really have the time. I'm trying to find a half-hour during lunch, or a bit of quiet time before bed, but there's so much to do between work, karate, and of course life at home... it will probably be slow moving for a while. But at least the train is rolling once more.

For those who don't know, Cluck is a one part humor, one part literary fiction, one part horror and one part mystery. It's the story of two mysterious men, a mysterious house, and a flock of undead chickens. And a sentient car. And a kick-ass pair of boots.

Look forward to it, because you're going to like it. And even if you don't, I'm still going to beg you all to buy it.

A: We both occasionally get bent out of shape.

OK, Anyone who knows me knows that while I am prone to gripe, I rarely actually get angry. It's a side effect of being partially insane. So, rest assured that I am not really angry about this, either, although it may come across that way à la blog.

My ire involves the term guidelines, which according to dictionary.com are "statements or other indications of policy or procedure by which to determine a course of action". The word rule, on the other hand means "An authoritative, prescribed direction..." Note the subtle difference? I do. One is a mere suggestion to steer towards the correct path, the other is a proclamation to enforce said path. In my case, the analysis of the term guideline refers to the usage of our corporate logo, which has come under scrutiny lately as we attempt to build a similar yet disparate brand.

In defense of those holding the opposing opinion, there are very valid reasons for having Logo Usage Guidelines. And I mostly agree with those guidelines being enforced (indeed, almost as if they were not guidelines at all, but rules). What raises my hackles (try not to imagine that) is the level of fire and vehemence that is summoned in defense of them. I must have grown up troubled. I believe, deep down, that all rules (erm, guidelines) are meant to be broken. Question Authority. A hearty "oy!" to the counter-culture and all that. Anarchy, mate.

So, to quantify my humble beliefs, I look to cases where other big companies have spit into the wind and thrown aside carefully formatted documents prescribing recommended courses of action signed in triplicate and mired in legacy. One stands tall above the rest. Apple. (That's pomme, to the French).

Apple, some five years ago was a mess. Oh, they was a-hurtin'. Stock was so low that I kick myself (metaphorically) daily for not buying oodles of it. They also had one of the best known brands in computing history. The Apple logo, brimming with Partridge-family rainbow-colored goodness. When the iMac was introduced, it was (few will argue) done with the intent of re-revolutionizing computing, and Apple took the opportunity to remake itself. They took a huge document (and it was huge) and stuffed it into the corporate shredder. They re-wrote tried-and-true guidelines, and changed their brand image. The gist was the same, but the logo changed. The font changed. Rainbow-Brite stripes were replaced with glossy lozenges of 3D delight. Mmmmmm... good!

The result? Apple's stock is soaring, and is wrestling with Google (Never heard of them? Try Googling them) for the number-one bestest-ever top-recognized and most-well-known brand ever. In the world. So says me, and so says some numbers, too.

The moral of the story is, Don't throw aside tradition for the sake of it, but don't be afraid to think from different angles. Forgiving the Apple pun in the previous sentence, please try to keep an open mind and remember that guidelines, in the immortal words of Captain Barbosa of the Black Pearl "are more like guidelines anyway"... wait — oh, never mind.

So, I wrote my own. It's inspired by The Lord of The Rings, which I think provides a much better work philosophy than that elitist, leming-poisoning piece of crap about cheese.

It probably wont win any awards, or become a national best seller or anything like that. I'm providing it here because, despite how many times people tell me "you could write one of those books like they sell on the discount table in front of the in-store cafe", I still can't seem to find the time or effort to seek out a legitimate publisher.

Anyway, you wont find it on Amazon.com, but you will find it here.

OK, well its a reason even if not a good one. For those who aren't incurable geeks like me, you'll need to understand that the new Apple PowerBook have a motion sensor built in that detects orientation and g-force changes — it's a way to keep the data of chronic laptop-droppers safe.

But what happens when you hack the system? That's exactly what was done here... take a look at the "Perturbed Desktop" movie, here to see why you'd want to start walking around or taking canoe rides while using your PowerBook. With this hack applied, you would never again need to leave your PowerBook at home while visiting the Fun House at the local town fair.

This is what being a geek is all about.