December 2003 Archives

Now that there is a new car in my family, I am thinking of ways to cleanly install my iPod MP3 player. So far, there are several options, some of which cost more money than others.

1. I can purchase an AUX in device made by Blitzsafe, which will convert the CD-deck AUX interface in the back of my VW's Monsoon stereo to standard RCA inputs. The stereo has an in-dash storage compartment thingy right over it, so I could then feed the RCA cable into this area and plug it into the iPod using an RCA-to-miniplug converter. This will allow me to select "CD" on the stereo and then play songs using the iPod. The sound will be direct AUX-IN, so it will be pure digital bliss. Total cost: About $90 with shipping and adapters.

2. I can use a CD-player-cassette adapter thing. You know the kind: You pop a cassette into the tape deck and this cord snakes out of the front, which you then plug into the headphone jack of a portable CD player (or, in this case an iPod). This is what I do know, and it sounds fairly good, but it results in a lot of cables dangling around... not the best way to show off my beautiful new vehicle. Total Cost: About $25 (I need a new adapter because the one I use now has a frayed cable).

3. An FM Transmitter (many kinds area available) would allow me to put the iPod

I have done battle with a demon. I have fought long and hard, and have at last emerged from the Coliseum, victorious. What manner of evil being was this? It was the much-feared sales manager of a local car dealership here on the Seacoast of New Hampshire... I will leave them anonymous, although they don't deserve it and so I've planted a pretty strong hint to their identity.

Now don't get me wrong: I know my title implies that all car salesman are evil. That's really not true. In fact, there are several that I know who are down-right nice guys. And, because I've been working in a sales-related job for several years now and know many tricks of the trade, I got a very good deal from this particular transaction. Actually, the sales guy involved wasn't that bad... it was his Sales Manager that irritated me. Of course, the inability for any car salesman to do anything without "checking with the sales manager" meant he was involved during the whole tedious three-day negotiation process. But it still irked me to the point where I felt the need to rant about it online. The following sales tactics were used against me, despite the fact that I said up front that I knew these tricks and did not want them to try to pull them on me... man, people just don't listen:

1. "You'll only pay this much a Month": I don't give a crap what I would pay each month. At least, not initially. I want to know what a car can do, and HOW MUCH IT COSTS. How much a car costs does not equal how much you pay a month, and vice-versa. Get the price down as low as it can, evaluate my trade-in, and I'll know if the car is reasonably priced and then make a decision on whether I want to finance it at all. Once I know that, I'll talk about financing. And only then. But I had to ask no less than SIX TIMES (6!!) before the paper with the casually scrawled list of monthly payments was removed and I got a "best and final offer" on the car's actual price. Unbelievable.

2. "With this down-payment, you'll only pay...": This is a subset of the above gripe. They try to pass off your down-payment like it's a dealer discount. Newsflash: You pay the dow-payment, not them.

3. "I'm sorry were you in a hurry?": This is the worst trick in the book and any car salesman who uses it should go straight to Hell, pausing only long enough for me to bitch-slap him or her across the brow with a reverse-crescent kick. Basically, the sales guy gets his or her hands on your car keys. It's usually so they can test-drive your trade-in, so there isn't any way you can actually avoid giving them your keys. Once they have your keys, you can't leave until they give the keys back. I was late to an appointment because this fat jerk had my keys, even though I repeatedly mentioned that I had a appointment to be at... an appointment to which I was ultimately very very late to attend.

4. "I'm pretty sure that model has that feature": This one is simple: You're not sure? That's funny, I thought it was your job to know these things. Go check. usually, "not sure" means "no, it doesn't but I'm hoping you let it go because I want to sell you this car under false assumptions because I am EVIL."

5. "Finance charges to rival a home mortgage": I don't know why a bank would charge me $2000 to close on a brand new house, which costs hundreds of thousands of dollars, but for some reason the same bank wants $3000 to close on an $11,000 car loan. Hmmm... is the slimy sales manager trying to get some of his losses back by over-charging me for a loan origination? Quite frankly, I think this should be illegal. [EDIT: To be fair, this happened at a different dealership, long ago. I was watching for it this time, and nipped it in the bud by researching the credit rates and terms ahead of time.]

The Outcome:

I didn't fall for any of these tricks (at least I don't think I did), and I actually almost turned down the really good deal on this particular car because of the whole "not giving me my keys back" thing. But the end result is a 2001 Passat Sedan, with almost every option available and a VW Certification (2 year/24K mile warranty), for $14,000. No that does not include a down-payment or a trade. My trade got almost exactly what Edmunds said it was worth, and I got a decent interest rate (which I should, because I have good credit and it's a certified vehicle). So did I win? Probably not completely... I'm sure they got me somehow... but the prize is that I get to drive around in the heated-seat, 170-horsepower comfort of this:

I was recently told that my book will not sell because there are no Science Fiction Babes on the cover. "Oh well," thought I. You see, there aren't any babes (per se) in the story, so I didn't even think to put one on the cover. In retrospect, what would have happened if I had put a partially-clad buxom lass on the cover, regardless? I have to agree: I probably would sell more books, although the readers would also undoubtedly be disappointed after the fact.

The moral question: Is it better to become a best-seller with horrible reviews and no fans, or a bad-seller that is well-liked and respected by a small but loyal reader base? Only time will tell, but I've put my money on the later.

Well... it looks like my first novel will be for sale before Christmas... but only direct from the publisher, and it's not looking hopeful that any pre-orders will ship before the holiday (they're stimating a 10-day lead time). I'm a bit disappointed, because I know that several people wanted to buy it for a Christmas gift. Oh well, there's nothing that can be done now. I'm hoping that I can whip up some bookmarks and postcards before then so that anyone with a pre-order can at least get something under the tree.

Hop over to Out of Place Out of Time for the whole story.

Listening to NPR this morning on the drive into work, a few colorful phrases tickled my funny-bone enough to post about them here. The first was in reference to the Bush Administration's new medicare prescription plan. The quote came from an elderly gentleman who exclaimed that while the plan was confusing, he was pretty sure he was going to end up "taking it in the Hoozle-Ding".

The second was in reference to the European Union's formation of new democratic processes. Spurred by the current debate over the number of votes allowed each representative nation, the gentleman (I can't recall who it was due to the temporary distraction of a near-traffic-incident) said, complete with proper British attitude and accent, "We're kind of making up this new democracy Higgledy-Piggledy".

This double-dactyl, made famous from the Mother Goose ryhme "My Black Hen", is discussed (along with others) in this interesting article.

Higgledy, piggledy, my black hen,

Higgledy, piggledy, my black hen.

The invisible fence company has come through for us. Apparently, the heap of money we gave them initially covers a full year's worth of unconditional service. So snow-blowers, plows, well-diggers, comets, and other unforeseen causes of fence destruction qualify for free repair.

Not too shabby, really.

My only question now is: How are they going to repair a wire that has been plowed into a snowbank? Especially now that a day of rain has melted the snowbank from a fluffy pile of semi-moveable snow into a condensed ice-prison.

This is a long story. To quote Indigo Mantoya from The Princess Bride, "Let me 'splain. No, is too much. Let me sum up."

We've had some customers request that we have a web-based support tracking system, so that they can log issues online, track the status of their open tickets, etc. Now, as a company we've had such a system for a long time. In fact, our European office used it extensively. However, our US support team was hesitant and so it was never really publicized in the U.S. As I am on the front lines, face-to-face with customers, I've repeatedly told customers that "this is a great idea that we are working on implementing it soon" in hopes that the system would someday be utilized to its full potential.

A few days ago, I brought this up again, and was surprised to hear this:

"Oh yeah, we have that. The support guys have been using it for a few months now, and we've made it available to US customers." ...huh?

I guess I just haven't been using the Force enough lately, or I would have surely felt this disturbance as millions of voices suddenly cried out...

Q: When is an invisible fence not invisible?

A: When your father-in-law plows it up.

When that happens, it is not only visible, but audible. The controller beeps to let you know there's a break in the line. When you unplug it, it beeps to let you know that the unit isn't getting power. Very helpful.

I posted earlier that the Invisible Fence company had top-notch service, and I'll update that report after I hear about how they handle this. I should get the update from the wife shortly and will post about it later. (I'm in Sacramento right now, so this is all second-hand at the moment).

Oh... and before anyone says "Lucky fucker is in California" let me just say that the weather followed me here: rain turning to snow, high of 50 degrees.

The company I work for is staffed entirely by addicts. Not drug addicts, per se, but potato chip addicts.

This started several years ago, when our then-VP of Sales brought back some Poore Brothers chips from Arizona. They have great flavors like Jalapeno, Habenaro, Pepper Jack, Cracked Pepper, and so on... Well, one by one, we've become addicted to the point where we eagerly await boxes full of chips from Arizona. Our benefactor is no longer the VP of Sales, he now heads up our Latin American operations as the V.P. of Latin American Sales.... but he has since moved to Phoenix, and has easy access to these wonderful chips. They're cropping up in more and more places, and I highly recommend them.

Around here they're more valuable than cigarettes in prison. So, if you do try them, just realize that you might be getting involved in something bigger than you anticipated. High-tech junkies may begin to stalk you, if they catch a whiff of Dill Potato wafting from your fingertips...

The new Puppy, whose name was almost immediately changed from Harvey to Pavlov (yes, as in Pavlov's Dog), is filling our lives with happiness, laughter, joy, and all of that "warm puppy" stuff. It is also filling our lives with cleaning products, dog bones, lots of running around, plenty of noise, and a brand-new 2-acre run of very expensive but much-needed wire. The cleaning product of choice, if anyone is interested, is Nature's Miracle Stain and Odor Remover, which not only cleans well, but removes those deep-down smells that ordinary cleaners leave behind, but that a coon hound can still smell from six miles away. The dog bones are mostly there to a) distract the puppy from chewing other things (like my feet) for a few minutes each day, and for tripping over in the middle of the night. The running around is split 50/50 between Pav (running around getting into trouble) and me (running around after Pav). The noise, however, is 100% Pavlov.

The invisible fence... that was a mutual decision between the wife and I. Yes it was expensive, but well worth it to prevent another disaster. At first, I felt it was a much needed-expense, but also a ridiculously overpriced one. Since then, I have met with the folks at Invisible Fence twice, and have changed my tune a bit. The company is very professional. The installation was clean and efficient, and the transmitter (complete with battery backup system and self-diagnostics) was mounted neatly in my basement. That's a trick in my basement, where every beam, sill and stud is crooked (the house was built in 1872, after all). We can't start training the pup until he is a bit older, at which point the invisible fence people will return. That's right, they train your dog for you (well, with you). They also have battery plans where they send you new batteries every few months so you don't forget to the change them, a lifetime warranty, and very responsive service (from what I've seen so far).

Will it work? That remains to be seen. Coonhounds are famous for being tolerant to pain, independent, and determined. I can picture in my mind a young Blue Tick hound running full tilt through the wire, knowing damn well it's going to hurt. But with the proper training, we should be able to avoid that. Time will tell.