Ancient Chinese Mojo

Today, my ass hurts.

Now don't get any ideas... it's simply a matter of doing far too many twist stances in class on tuesday, and then (stupidly) not working out the next day to keep the blood flowing. So basically, my Gluteus Maximus and my Semimembranosus hurt like hell. Also, my Obturator Externus is in some serious pain as well.

It's times like this when I question why I do this to myself.

Anyway, the whole incident has led me to haul out my various liniments, rubs, salves, and other potential pacifiers of pain. Some of these are pretty good, but there are a lot on the market and I'd welcome suggestions if you know of any other good products.

Tiger Balm is the stand-by, especially since they started selling it at most grocery stores. It does seem to loosen up tight muscles and is soothing. However, it smells very strongly (not bad, but very strong) and will stain clothing. So I give it a B-

Salonpas is the most effective pain killer of them all. In fact, the main ingredient is a form of topical silicate similar to what you find in aspirin. It will actually kill pain, and comes in clean easy-to-apply sticky patches. They work great, but you will regret using them as soon as you have to peel the thing off. The glue works a little too well. I used one on a thigh injury once, and it lasted a few days, through showering and workouts and everything before I finally had to rip it off (along with a good deal of my leg hairs). So, this one gets a B

Dit Da Jow (or something like that) is some ancient mojo medicine designed for the sadistic practitioners of Iron Palm training. I picked some up on a whim because I'm pretty sure I have arthritis in my hands and it is supposed to heal joints, ligaments, increase circulation etc. Surprisingly, it really works. Or at least it seems to. It smells funny and is sticky, though. I'll use it during any training that focuses on my hands, but it's not a practical therapeutic liniment because it just smells too strange. B

Ben Gay is well... not even worth it. Most common over the counter sports rubs are like Ben Gay. They are greasy, smelly, and don't really work. That is, unless they have Capsaicin as a major ingredient, which brings us to...

Capsaicin products include "Heat", and other "Hot" sports rubs. Capsaicin is the same chemical that makes hot peppers hot, and it has anti-inflammatory properties. It really does work well. Capsaicin is the thing that did the trick when I had an injury to my shoulder. However, it can burn your skin in strong doses, and you DO NOT want to get it in your eyes. It will hurt the next day in the shower as hot water re-activates it. For God's sake, keep it away from your privates. C+

That's all I can think of right now. I'll add more later if I think of any.